The average smart phone user uses 23 apps in a month, and spends a whopping 30 or so hours using apps of different types every month. That’s no huge surprise, apps are part of what makes a smart phone so useful, not to mention entertaining. But not all apps fall into the traditional headings of “productivity,” “entertainment,” or “communication.” There are and have been some very strange apps indeed. So here we give you our list of the weirdest mobile apps. Some are (arguably) useful, or at least fill a niche, others… well, we’re not sure what they are. You’ll have to check them out and see!
Our first entry on the list is maybe not the weirdest thing we’ve ever heard of, but it’s definitely a bit creepy. Cuddlr is a location based app that lets you find people in your neighbourhood that want to cuddle. Sort of like a soft-core Tinder, we imagine. Cuddling is cool, but, um, does no one else see the risk here? Also, is cuddling really in such high demand that there needs to be a mobile app for it? Cuddlr at least is free, though it’s iOS only at the moment…
Spirit Story Box
Okay, this one is weird. Very weird. Spirit Story Box claims to be able to not only find spirits and ghosts around your location, but also to be able to send them messages (we’re unclear on whether you get to decide on the message or not). Not only that, but the app then deciphers changes in the energy around you and translates it back into words so that you can get a message back from the spirit. Who knew ghosts were so high tech? Spirit Story Box is iOS only right now, and it is a paid app…
Fancy shaving with your smart phone? Well, you can’t. No, we’re being serious. This free Android app will make your phone’s screen look like an electric razor. You can even turn the razor on and get a nice buzzing noise. But then… well, it’s a phone, you rather obviously can’t shave with it. We’re confused as to the point of Electric Shaver, though it could be entertaining to watch someone try to shave with their mobile…
Places I’ve Pooped
This app is actually one of the most popular on our list, with tons of downloads. It’s a map. You can mark on the map places, well, places where you’ve done your business. That’s pretty much it. Why? Maybe it’s a territory marking thing. But Places I’ve Pooped is free, and it’s available for iOS and Android…
Yes, we thought we’d get the bathroom humour over and done with in one shot. Run Pee is weird, but it’s actually also incredibly useful for some people. Hate going to the cinema and missing important parts of the film while you hop to the toilet? With Run Pee that’s not going to be a problem any more. Just enter the name of the film that you’re going to see and the app will tell you when’s the best time to go pee. You’ll never miss anything important again! Run Pee is free and iOS and Android.
The idea behind iNap@Work is pretty creative, and we can see the potential. Basically, the app makes it sound like you’re working when you’re not. You choose which sounds you need (typing, stapling, mouse clicking etc.) and decide how often the noise plays, and then go to sleep. This is all very well, except… well, won’t someone notice that you’re asleep on your desk with your phone next to you? Might work if you have an office, not a good plan for those of us in cubicles. This is free, but iOS only right now.
At least the title of this app is honest. Pointless Game is exactly what it says on the box. It’s a pointless game. Open the app, put your finger on the phone’s screen and that’s it. You’ll earn points for every second that your finger stays down. It’s… pointless. And also free and Android only.
Um… we’re not really sure what to say about this app. It claims to be able to analyse your kissing skills. Hold up your phone, give the screen a good smooch (with or without tongue, it’s up to you) and the app will let you know how good you are. You can even (it is suggested, though not by us) let potential mates have a go to find out how good they’re going to be. There seems to be a hygiene issue here, but we’re not going to get into it. iFrenchKiss is free and iOS only…
Watching Cute Girls
Yet another creepy addition to our list. Watching Cute Girls is… um… weird. You pay for the app (iOS only), and then a virtual girl appears on your phone’s screen and watches you. Which makes us think that this app should probably be called Cute Girls Watching, rather than Watching Cute Girls, but there you go. That’s it. She doesn’t do anything, just watches you.
Melon Meter might be useful, we’re not sure, because honestly, we don’t really understand the science behind it and don’t know if it really works or not. Here’s what you’re supposed to do: find a melon (currently only watermelons are supported), open the app, knock on the melon. The app will then use your phone’s microphone to tell you whether or not the melon is ripe. Yeah… Melon Meter is iOS only, sorry Android users…
Finally, we’re giving an honourable mention to The Brostache, which is useless and yet hilarious. Ever wanted a moustache? Well now you can have one. Decide on one of the apps seven moustache styles, hold your phone up across your mouth and the on-screen lips and moustache will move in time as you speak. Yes, it’s stupid, but it is very, very funny. Free too, though Android only.